45. Maze Woods Story 5: Defeat the giant bee!
“Defeat the giant bee!” feels e’en mo’ like a padding level than other boss levels, repeating similar setpieces with the bees introduced in the level preceding this level, — granted they fit better here: they just would’ve had a better effect if they were introduced here — as well as returning the terrible floors you can fall thru to hide the treasure door, as well as yet ’nother down there for some coins.
The bees aren’t fun, either: puffy Wario is ’mong the least fun status effects in the series thanks to how slow it moves & how redundant it feels next to bouncy Wario; & thanks to the camera in this game, which doesn’t move unless you touch a boundary, it’s a guessing game where there are spots high ’bove you can float up to, so you’ll end up getting stung & floating up @ various places just to check e’erywhere if you haven’t already memorized the level or looked it up in a guide. They’re not challenging to get past, either, as you can just stay ducking & they can’t sting you. You’d think they’d put the effort to better differentiate this level from “Escape from Maze Woods” by making you climb up platforms that require you to be standing to reach them to add difficulty, but the bee sections in this level are actually easier & simpler than that earlier level.
There’s also this annoying setpiece in the room just before the boss where there’s a long floor o’ throw blocks where you need to break all the throw blocks right next to the ground — which is a pain, as it can be easy to get a Pirate Goom stuck down there, constantly getting knocked out o’ your grasp by the low ceiling whene’er you pick it up — in order to roll down there. Considering you only get a measly 12 coins on each side, it’s not worth the trouble.
The boss itself is cliché but competent: it hover o’er you & then plows downward like it’s a Thwomp, allowing you to jump on its head, & then it lets out some baby bees that can sting you if you let its stingers touch you that you can charge attack away & then repeat for 2 mo’ iterations.
44. Invade Wario Castle Story 4: Go through the grand hall
As interesting as Wario Land II’s 1st secret path is in concept, it’s clear that the level designers elected it as the dumping ground for the weaker material. “Go through the grand hall” is the weakest by a hair ’cause the only slightly interesting idea in it is the big room that I presume is s’posed to be the “grand hall” — it’s so uninteresting I didn’t e’en make the connection immediately, since it’s clearly not a hall, & isn’t grand in the slightest — where you need to maneuver round the parallel doors to get thru. Parallel doors are hardly unique to this level & hardly an interesting idea in itself.
Littered ’mong this “grand hall” are some o’ the most meh subrooms e’er, most o’ which involve already-heavily-used elements like dodging moving spikes while maneuvering steps or dodging beer bottles thrown by belligerents in the window or the most basic o’ rolling Wario setpieces. 1 room is straight-up just a bunch o’ blocks in a circular pattern & a few basic enemies on top. As a twist, this negligible room gives tons o’ coins, way mo’ than the mo’ challenging setpieces.
The only notable setpieces are a few “mazes” full o’ blocks & spikes where you need to break thru the blocks, going up when running into a wall o’ spikes to get round them, which is not all that interesting, & a puzzle where you bring a snowman down to freeze Wario so he can plow thru a snowman guarding a tight hall, which is also done in better levels, like “Mysterious Factory”’s 1st story, “Defeat the giant spear man” ( not to be confused with the 4 other levels with that exact name ).
Many o’ these “puzzles” don’t offer nearly ’nough coins to be worth the effort, such as the setpieces near the end where you break thru fire floor blocks as fire Wario to collect a long column o’ coins & then have to climb all the way back up the long room.
E’en the treasure door location is lame: it’s just a door on the other end o’ the end goal. I guess if the player is terminally lacking in any curiosity or for some reason in a hurry they might miss it, but otherwise I can’t imagine why the player wouldn’t break thru those easily-broken blocks to find it. I’m not sure why they didn’t hide it under 1 o’ the sets o’ fire blocks.
’Nother unfortunate aspect o’ this world revolving round Wario getting his castle back is that, ’cause it’s in Wario’s castle ’gain, it repeats the same drab brown tileset as the 1st chapter, which also used this tileset a lot. ¿Would it have been that weird to contrive Cap’n Syrup giving Wario’s castle a paintjob — she apparently had time to knock his giant W down & replace it with her skull icon — for the gamedev sake o’ providing better visual variety?
43. Invade Wario Castle Story 5: Kick ’em out!
I almost wanted to put this @ the bottom, as it’s e’en mo’ disappointing that 1 o’ the final levels in the game would be so mid. E’en the boss is lame: this is 1 o’ the game endings — 1 o’ the mo’ interesting, since it’s Wario trying to take back his own castle — & yet you just fight a robotic giant spear man, as opposed to all the regular spear men you fight thruout this game. Meanwhile, Cap’n Syrup just flies round powering it herself with lightning that she, for some reason, can’t use on you, & you just need to tenderize the robot ’nough to allow you to pick it up & throw it @ her only once. Granted, it’s good that this boss ends early, as it’s annoying: you have to keep jumping o’er the robot, which keeps getting slower & slower, & yet make sure you’re in front o’ it when it finally stops so you’re in the right place to hit it in the face. Otherwise, you have to wait & jump round mo’.
The only interesting setpiece in this level is a part near the beginning where you have to drag a beer-slinging penguin up to the top & fall down a hole & time your throw so that it hits the throw-block wall. It’s too bad there’s just ’nother room with a paltry # o’ coins rather than the bonus door. ’Stead the bonus door is just down 1 o’ 5 holes with breakable blocks where you just have to keep trying paths till you find it. What an exciting challenge.
This level has so li’l thought put into it that it’s full o’ just coins behind breakable walls with enemies that throw stuff @ you, nothing else, or ’hind blades that go up & down, nothing new by this point unless one takes this alternate route @ the beginning o’ their playthru. There’s 1 place that uses small Wario to reach coins, with some hidden coins @ a high up cliff, but this is probably the least interesting use o’ this mechanic in this game.
But these are still better than the worst room in this level where you have to slowly squeeze thru multiple tight passageways blocked by Pirate Gooms in your way.
On the other hand, boss levels in this game tend to be shorter to make up for the time spent on the boss, which I would say is a good design decision, & a’least this level has a boss, rather than relying on a weak level mechanic like the level just before this 1.
42. Invade Wario Castle Story 1: To the castle!!
I love how the cutscene shows Wario going back into his castle, but the level takes place in the woods outside his castle.
While I really like the cool dark palette they give to the woods & cave tileset in this level, with the pale blue skies & periwinkle purple cave walls, as well as the catchy level music, the iconic song mainly associated with Wario Land II, the level construction itself is all o’er the place, both thematically & quality-wise. There is 1 section @ the very end where you need to jump from small platform to platform while rolling to reach the goal door which is kinda cool, tho I wish they extended it & shortened the weaker parts.
There is also a bonus section just for coins where you need to bounce off a rat to reach up a platform & then break a cracked block on the other side so it can continue following you & allow you to bounce off it on the right. Howe’er, the final chapter’s “Defeat the four ducks!” ( yes, that’s a real level in this game ) does the same thing & it fits better thematically, being inside a castle rather than out in the woods.
The other rolling sections aren’t nearly as interesting, especially the obscure & involved rolling challenges necessary to break thru a passage in a wall & earn a whole 10 coins — indisputably the worst reward-to-effort ratio o’ any challenge in this game.
A much mo’ rewarding challenge, but 1 that is also much harder to the point o’ unfairness & obscurity, is what leads to the treasure door, a section where you need to carry a beer-swigging penguin up to the top to throw @ throw blocks in the way. The problem is that the ceiling is so low ’bove the top platforms that it’s impossible to jump across them while holding a penguin & not have it get knocked out o’ your hands. As far as I know, you have to full-force chuck the penguin forward & hope it reaches the platform @ the end, doesn’t despawn, & doesn’t hit the cracked blocks on the other side hard ’nough to get destroyed ( or break the cracked blocks & climb back up ). If not how finicky this is, I’d consider it clever; but ’cause it is, it’s just frustrating having to leave & come back e’ery time you get some variable you can’t really see wrong.
Meanwhile, most o’ the other sections are jarringly much easier. You have a cave room where you go down, dodging the bees that have no chance o’ stinging you since you’re ’bove them & their dangerous stingers are below them. You’d think they might sneak a secret ’bove that you can get by intentionally being stung, but, nope: this room is just reach the bottom & don’t get stung.
& then there’s a mandatory section that is easy but tedious & is the worst use o’ the sleeping teeth monsters — who are already by themselves the worst enemy in this game. You have pairs o’ them right next to each other under a low ceiling, so you have to way to cross them without waking 1 up. Your best option is to defeat 1 with a charge attack & then rush back & wait the second or so it takes for the other to go back & forth & then finally go back to sleep. E’en then, defeating the 2nd monster wakes the other 2, so you also have to wait a 3rd time. & better hope you’re not “lucky” ’nough to get a silver coin by defeating the 1st o’ a pair, as you’re likely not getting it before it fades away with the other monster in the way. ¿What is the point o’ this? It’s not hard, it just wastes the player’s time.
41. The Really Final Chapter Time Attack: Steal the Syrup’s treasure!!
Your reward for beating all exits, collecting all 50 treasures, & collecting all 50 map fragments is a troll rom hack level that does e’erything it can to waste your time, primarily in cheap ways that only highlight this game’s janky physics or exploit how unintuitive movement is in ways you were ne’er challenged to face anywhere else in this game, whether it be hopping across long bridges only enemies can walk on by slowly bouncing on the nearer side o’ the enemy to bump it forward & keep in the air, — only to sometimes, somehow, grab the enemy by your feet & fall down & have to start all o’er ’gain; or having to jump up several single blocks from just below, with no padding to the side o’ the blocks, which would be simple in a game like Super Mario World, but with Wario Land II’s bigger player sprite & less forgiving hitboxes — which, unlike Super Mario World’s, which go to the end o’ Mario’s feet, are not accurately represented by Wario’s sprite, & thus figuring out said hitboxes is guesswork; or the nonsensical physics o’ flat Wario, where jumping straight up & gliding rightward allows you to make a high jump to the right, but holding up & jumping off the right edge, which should give you just as much heights & mo’ distance, but gives you less height for unexplained reasons, doesn’t.
Other parts are mo’ boring than hard, like having to navigate thru mazes o’ arbitrary breakable blocks @ the start — as well as a beginner’s trap where if you stupidly jump up a platform @ a certain point you get sent back to near the beginning — or having to slowly shove an enemy thru a tight passageway ’cause the ceiling is too low for Wario to pick it up, or having to slowly walk across a conveyor belt ’cause there are spikes just above that will knock you back if you hit them. There’s 1 part where you have to cross floor with spikes here & there with a low ceiling & there’s no way to cross without getting hit: you just have to try & get past the spikes while you’re invincibility is still going.
This all ends with what is probably the most interesting challenge in this level, having to defeat yet ’nother giant spear man, but this time 1 that is walking along floor that only enemies can walk on, with the challenge o’ staying in the air after e’ery ground pound on it so you can keep ground pounding it & avoid falling down below. Luckily, e’en if you do fall down, you don’t have to do too much to get back — tho the boss’s health regenerates, ’course.
There is also 1 section where you have to jump on floating dressers in the currents while dodging moving & spinning spikes, which is tricky, but a’least feels like real platforming challenges; & the bird jumps round the middle feel like actually inspired tricky platforming challenges rather than trolling. But other than those, this level is mostly just screwing with the player in ways that don’t involve any clever puzzles or challenges, delaying their inevitable victory all for the sake o’ forcing the player to have a high time — which doesn’t mean anything, since you don’t get anything for getting a certain time & I can guarantee that nobody in the universe cares what time you got on the only time attack level in Wario Land II.
¿So why is this level not @ the bottom? Well… e’en thinking o’ all the ways to screw o’er the player took some thought & creativity. But moreo’er, this level’s surreal graphics, which is made up o’ a searing hot pink with ears, mouths, & eyes in the background, & foreboding alien music is what really brought this level’s score up. I especially like how they integrate these background elements into the level elements: the eyes drop water droplets you have to avoid as flat Wario & the mouths create the waterfalls that cause the currents in 1 room & spit down rocks in another.
40. Syrup Castle Story 4: Find the hidden door!!
This is the better level where you just charge-attack thru a maze o’ breakable walls — tho as this ranking shows, it’s still not a good level. With how long this level zigzags it’s especially disappointing that they don’t put any effort in hiding the treasure door, since that should be something easy to do: it’s just 1 o’ the 2 split paths in the final room.
There are extra coin rooms around, ’course, but the only 1 worth mentioning is the room with pelicans where you can destroy almost all o’ the bridge structure, causing the pelicans to fall into the water & leaving just a few small platforms to hop across with greater ease now that the pelicans are gone.
That this is the penultimate level on the main path is most bewildering. I s’pose maybe the idea is that Wario is destroying Syrup’s castle on the way to his showdown gainst her, but e’en tho this game has cutscenes, they don’t show any cutscene or express this idea @ all. You’re still roaming her castle in the final level. I would also suspect they wanted this to be a bonus breather level before the final level, but it fails @ that, since bonus levels should be fun, & this level is just boring.
Also, despite how threatless this level is, they still felt the need to add in blind falls onto spikes, both in 1 o’ the bonus coin rooms & on the main path. This makes you lose a few coins, but not ’nough to matter, so it’s mo’ annoying than a challenge. I’m not sure why they felt the need to put these in other than to be jerks, but it certainly doesn’t make the level any better as either an easygoing bonus level or an exciting challenge.
